This week I'm already late on writing. That is not a good sign. I think I'll get more into the whole posting thing as a way to keep track of how I am feeling as this pregnancy progresses. I expect that I'll want to have a record of this huge life change since I can't remember much of anything. I seriously am still pissed that my wedding didn't get filmed. That was nearly 3 years ago. Grudge much?
Anyway, after initially having heartburn that first day after finding out, I haven't really had a problem since then. I don't know if it was the stress of knowing or what, but I count my lucky stars that the last week and a half or so have been pretty uneventful. This week has brought on some new pregnancy symptoms. Especially exhaustion. I have been so tired that I've had to nap in my car on my lunches. I am really tired, but when I finally do get home I can't get to sleep. My mind is running. I feel guilty that the house is a mess. I need to cook dinner. Oh and I'm also feeling horrible that I haven't been exercising much at all. I've also been waking during the night because I have to pee. And, every time I've woke up even a little to roll over or something, it has hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm pregnant. Oh my god, I'm pregnant. Then I get up, pee and get back in bed only to lye awake for awhile just thinking and worrying about everything.
As of yesterday, Thursday the 28th, I've also started having uterine cramping and round ligament pain. As I said to my friends who are both pregnant too... this is probably one of the only times when googeling has been relief inducing. It appears that my uterus is just expanding to house my growing embryo and the ligaments that hold up my uterus are stretching too. Maureen assured me that she's been having cramping for weeks. So I have this to look forward to for awhile.
I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful for this pre-baby. I don't want to whine too much, but this whole process is really crazy. It is difficult to wrap my mind around all the changes that are going on inside my body. I feel like I don't want to get too excited yet either. I know I'm coming across as apathetic when I speak to people, but I know myself. If things don't work out. It is going to be really tough. We got so excited when we had that first positive test. We definitely told more people than I thought we would have... or than I think we should have. I'm very apprehensive about really connecting to the embryo yet. I know we all started the same way, but with a 20% or more percentage of miscarriage it is a reality that this pregnancy could end much sooner than we'd like. I'm nothing if not pragmatic.
How long did it take you to settle into your pregnancy? Were you apprehensive at all?
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