I'm bring it back from the depths of 2011.
Well... what's happened? I have two beautiful girls now. Who would have known? I always thought I would have had boys. I am totally ready for growing baby number three, but my husband isn't. We're still living in the partially finished house that we started so many years ago. Small bits of progress have happened in the midst of baby birthing and rearing.
I'm still at my dead end job. So... hardly anything has really changed. I'm older, wiser... maybe. I'm grayer for sure. I'm heavier, yet stronger. I've weathered the ups and downs of motherhood now. The highs and lows of that vocation are not to be scoffed at. I subsist on less sleep than I ever thought possible. I nurse and sooth. I bathe and feed. I kiss and cuddle like no one's business.
I'll try to breathe some life back into this garbage dump of thoughts.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Week 20 & 21
Baby,
You have become a mover and a shaker! I feel you moving around multiple times a day and for longer periods of time too. I still have yet to feel any movements on the top right side of my belly. I'm convinced that is where your placenta is attached. It has become very obvious that you're in my belly now.
We got to see you a lot during week 20 because we had the anatomy scan ultrasound at my 20 week appointment. You seem to be growing right on schedule and very normally. The ultrasound tech got a great picture of your face and I can say that you are very cute even at your estimated weight of only 13 oz. You're papa is so smitten with you and I'm right there with him. This whole process of growing you for months without much in the way of feeling or outward appearance of being pregnant has been hard emotionally. I mean, I felt bad that I hadn't really connected with you. Hadn't really thought too much about you once you were outside. That changed quite a bit after seeing you moving around inside and looking so much like a tiny person. I really love you already. I hope that you continue to rock the development process and come out strong and healthy!
Now - for my own symptom report --- not for you baby!
I've been more consistently having to get up to pee. At about 3am I'm up every night to pee. It stinks, but I fall right back to sleep. I've also developed --- gasp---- hemorrhoids. I'd say this is by far the worse symptom of pregnancy, except that they haven't really been too horrible. I've been more diligent about drinking water daily and eating healthy. I've had a couple flare ups, but seem to be on the right track now. Another pregnancy related side effect... skin tags. I have one under my right arm in my armpit. I also had one my my nipple that I picked off accidentally! I thought it was a piece of lint. Other than that, and my allergic reaction to coco butter this week I haven't had much for symptoms. My face broke out this week like it hasn't in a couple years, but it is clearing up now. I've been washing more frequently (I'm very bad about remembering to wash before bed) and trying not to pick! I hope that doesn't continue.
You have become a mover and a shaker! I feel you moving around multiple times a day and for longer periods of time too. I still have yet to feel any movements on the top right side of my belly. I'm convinced that is where your placenta is attached. It has become very obvious that you're in my belly now.
We got to see you a lot during week 20 because we had the anatomy scan ultrasound at my 20 week appointment. You seem to be growing right on schedule and very normally. The ultrasound tech got a great picture of your face and I can say that you are very cute even at your estimated weight of only 13 oz. You're papa is so smitten with you and I'm right there with him. This whole process of growing you for months without much in the way of feeling or outward appearance of being pregnant has been hard emotionally. I mean, I felt bad that I hadn't really connected with you. Hadn't really thought too much about you once you were outside. That changed quite a bit after seeing you moving around inside and looking so much like a tiny person. I really love you already. I hope that you continue to rock the development process and come out strong and healthy!
Now - for my own symptom report --- not for you baby!
I've been more consistently having to get up to pee. At about 3am I'm up every night to pee. It stinks, but I fall right back to sleep. I've also developed --- gasp---- hemorrhoids. I'd say this is by far the worse symptom of pregnancy, except that they haven't really been too horrible. I've been more diligent about drinking water daily and eating healthy. I've had a couple flare ups, but seem to be on the right track now. Another pregnancy related side effect... skin tags. I have one under my right arm in my armpit. I also had one my my nipple that I picked off accidentally! I thought it was a piece of lint. Other than that, and my allergic reaction to coco butter this week I haven't had much for symptoms. My face broke out this week like it hasn't in a couple years, but it is clearing up now. I've been washing more frequently (I'm very bad about remembering to wash before bed) and trying not to pick! I hope that doesn't continue.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Salamander week 17 - 19
Not much has happened during this time period. Baby has been growing and nausea and fatigue have lifted. I've felt really great. We finally had our yard sale and got rid of a ton of stuff. We made a couple hundred dollars and promptly spent it on Harborfest and other treats. We hooked up with someone on Craigslist that was having a fundraiser for their dog's surgery. She gave us $500 in certificates for a tax deduction... and came and picked all the leftovers up. I was extremely happy to have the stuff gone! We still have a few things that were over looked and didn't make it into the sale that need to be donated... but all in all it was a huge success!
Dave finished up his official slacker time for the summer. The weekend of August 6th was his official cut off for fun summer stuff and beginning of the get-crap-done-at-the-house-before-the-freakin-baby-arrives time. I've still dialed back my expectations of what will be done and what will not. I want the baby's room to be finished because I want to make sure there is at least one place that is complete and dust free for the baby and my own sanity. And you know what that's fine.
I've really tried to rope in the crazy lists and desire to have and do it all. Reality is something I'm trying to embrace. Including: being happy with what we have, who we are and where we're likely to really go in the next couple years. I'm really okay with it. I know that the baby will take up a lot of time in 2012. Getting to know her or him and figuring out how to keep them happy has a huge learning curve. I hope that I do really well in that department, but I know I'll have times where it seems like too much or just enough. It's all going to be so new that I don't want to set myself up with unrealistic expectations of everything else. You know, I won't get crafty and make my own crib bedding. Its simply not going to happen. There are too many other important things going on. And I'm really okay with that.
Deep relaxing breaths that actually feel good... what's this? Contentment? Not sure I've been here before. Don't get me wrong, anxiety is filtering in sometimes. Still, I've really dialed back on the freak out during this pregnancy. I'm settling in for the ride. It's going to be nutty, but so many other women have done it before. I know it's going to change everything about our lives but I also know it's doable. So, I'm content to just enjoy the time we have and the experiences that we're going through right now.
How about you? Are you living in the moment?
Dave finished up his official slacker time for the summer. The weekend of August 6th was his official cut off for fun summer stuff and beginning of the get-crap-done-at-the-house-before-the-freakin-baby-arrives time. I've still dialed back my expectations of what will be done and what will not. I want the baby's room to be finished because I want to make sure there is at least one place that is complete and dust free for the baby and my own sanity. And you know what that's fine.
I've really tried to rope in the crazy lists and desire to have and do it all. Reality is something I'm trying to embrace. Including: being happy with what we have, who we are and where we're likely to really go in the next couple years. I'm really okay with it. I know that the baby will take up a lot of time in 2012. Getting to know her or him and figuring out how to keep them happy has a huge learning curve. I hope that I do really well in that department, but I know I'll have times where it seems like too much or just enough. It's all going to be so new that I don't want to set myself up with unrealistic expectations of everything else. You know, I won't get crafty and make my own crib bedding. Its simply not going to happen. There are too many other important things going on. And I'm really okay with that.
Deep relaxing breaths that actually feel good... what's this? Contentment? Not sure I've been here before. Don't get me wrong, anxiety is filtering in sometimes. Still, I've really dialed back on the freak out during this pregnancy. I'm settling in for the ride. It's going to be nutty, but so many other women have done it before. I know it's going to change everything about our lives but I also know it's doable. So, I'm content to just enjoy the time we have and the experiences that we're going through right now.
How about you? Are you living in the moment?
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Salamander Week 16
I had my 16 week appointment this morning. It went smoothly and quickly by. I had my blood drawn for the genetic screening and CF Carrier testing. Knowledge is power right? I'm not always so sure. I just worry about a poor result from the screening... What if it is mistake? I hate to open that high risk Pandora's box. But on the other hand, I want to give my baby the ultimate chance at a great life. If this baby is genetically damaged in someway, I'd like to spare it from a painful existence. Not the argument of a right to lifer for sure. I still maintain that a women should have the right of choice. Too many circumstances to make laws around. Keep it simple and let women and families choose what is best for them. Ok, off my soap box now.
Before the blood draw I was weighed - 1 lb up from my 12 week appointment - current weight 146lbs
I had my urine tested - No protein or glucose present
I discussed my lack of weight gain with the Dr. --- Make that the original practice founding Dr... Dr. Mathers Sr. --- He has to be pushing 80, but his hands were steady and he was still assured and knowledgeable. He said that many women gain way too much weight. Back when he was being trained they recommended that women gain about 18 lbs total. I could be happy with that but I won't kill myself if I gain more. I've got quite a bit of time left in this pregnancy.
He did the heart doppler, but it was so quick that I didn't get a chance to record it for Dave. I kind of felt bad, but he understood. He measured my tiny baby bump while I was lying on the exam table. It was kind of cute. He also commended me on my vegetarian diet! Sweet! I really love that this practice is in line with my own thinking. It is so nice to have doctors who value the healthy lifestyle that I've chosen for valid scientific reasons. Especially after the poor reaction that I continued to get from my general care Dr. I was ready to put up a fight and change to a practice in Syracuse if I didn't continue to feel like this was the right fit. This experience will go in the positive column. No real negatives yet. I'm disappointed that Midwife Brenda isn't with the practice any longer, but I can't really knock them for that.
In other baby related news - I had my first craving last night - Pineapple Juice. I think I would have punched a homeless man for a glass mixed with seltzer. It was very satisfying once it was in hand.
Before the blood draw I was weighed - 1 lb up from my 12 week appointment - current weight 146lbs
I had my urine tested - No protein or glucose present
I discussed my lack of weight gain with the Dr. --- Make that the original practice founding Dr... Dr. Mathers Sr. --- He has to be pushing 80, but his hands were steady and he was still assured and knowledgeable. He said that many women gain way too much weight. Back when he was being trained they recommended that women gain about 18 lbs total. I could be happy with that but I won't kill myself if I gain more. I've got quite a bit of time left in this pregnancy.
He did the heart doppler, but it was so quick that I didn't get a chance to record it for Dave. I kind of felt bad, but he understood. He measured my tiny baby bump while I was lying on the exam table. It was kind of cute. He also commended me on my vegetarian diet! Sweet! I really love that this practice is in line with my own thinking. It is so nice to have doctors who value the healthy lifestyle that I've chosen for valid scientific reasons. Especially after the poor reaction that I continued to get from my general care Dr. I was ready to put up a fight and change to a practice in Syracuse if I didn't continue to feel like this was the right fit. This experience will go in the positive column. No real negatives yet. I'm disappointed that Midwife Brenda isn't with the practice any longer, but I can't really knock them for that.
In other baby related news - I had my first craving last night - Pineapple Juice. I think I would have punched a homeless man for a glass mixed with seltzer. It was very satisfying once it was in hand.
Salamander 15 weeks
The nausea is finally... finally lifting. I'm feeling better everyday. Nothing dramatic. No night to day difference. I'm still feeling kind of tired in the mornings. I've been drinking coffee on a bit more of a regular basis. Still limiting my intact on any particular day, but enjoying a small cup with quite a bit of creamer a few times a week. I've broken down and gotten a medium half decaf more than a few times from Dunkin.
I've started taking the DHA supplement again. I'm not sure if this is the really good time to take it or not. My research has been limited to baby center weekly updates and the Child is Born book. That book is awesome when you're newly pregnant to get an idea of what's going on in there, but I find that once it stops being a weekly update it stops being as integral to my pregnant life. We're in the middle of a chunk of time and doesn't start a new reading until around 20 weeks.
I have grand plans to purchase another book, but when searching through amazon I found so many I wanted to read. I can't spend a hundred... or more on books! That money could be going towards diapers or a breast pump. I'm really feeling the pinch. Maybe they have some of them at the library?
My belly is starting to show. Just a tiny little bump right now, but Dave thinks its huge! If I were more sensitive I'd probably be offended by his exuberance. But I know that it is coming from a place of pure excitement. He tells me almost daily that he can't wait to meet our baby. I'm really happy to be able to go through this whole process with him. It makes me love him so much more. With the belly poking out and the ultrasound and the nausea lifting... and all the other things that have been going on, I'm slowly starting to view this as reality. I'm starting to get excited myself. It will be much easier after my screening tests are done next week and I get the good results I'm hoping/partly expecting.
We also received our official first baby related gift. (My mom's purchase of the sideboard doesn't count.)Jessica passed her baby sleeping bag thing down to us. It is a canvas bag that is lined with sheep skin. It is very very very warm. Our new winter baby should be super warm in it. I'm so happy to be reusing something that has been used by a number of other babies! All the way from snowy Montreal.
I've started taking the DHA supplement again. I'm not sure if this is the really good time to take it or not. My research has been limited to baby center weekly updates and the Child is Born book. That book is awesome when you're newly pregnant to get an idea of what's going on in there, but I find that once it stops being a weekly update it stops being as integral to my pregnant life. We're in the middle of a chunk of time and doesn't start a new reading until around 20 weeks.
I have grand plans to purchase another book, but when searching through amazon I found so many I wanted to read. I can't spend a hundred... or more on books! That money could be going towards diapers or a breast pump. I'm really feeling the pinch. Maybe they have some of them at the library?
My belly is starting to show. Just a tiny little bump right now, but Dave thinks its huge! If I were more sensitive I'd probably be offended by his exuberance. But I know that it is coming from a place of pure excitement. He tells me almost daily that he can't wait to meet our baby. I'm really happy to be able to go through this whole process with him. It makes me love him so much more. With the belly poking out and the ultrasound and the nausea lifting... and all the other things that have been going on, I'm slowly starting to view this as reality. I'm starting to get excited myself. It will be much easier after my screening tests are done next week and I get the good results I'm hoping/partly expecting.
We also received our official first baby related gift. (My mom's purchase of the sideboard doesn't count.)Jessica passed her baby sleeping bag thing down to us. It is a canvas bag that is lined with sheep skin. It is very very very warm. Our new winter baby should be super warm in it. I'm so happy to be reusing something that has been used by a number of other babies! All the way from snowy Montreal.
Salamander week 12-14
Yesterday marked the start of week 12. I'm not feeling much better yet. Nausea is still around for sure.
We had our first ultrasound this week. It was pretty exciting seeing our offspring inside my body. Surreal really. When the ultrasound tech put the probe to my belly the first image was a tiny hand pressed right up against the screen. I was startled and excited all at the same time. I don't know why I didn't expect that the baby would look like a baby. I knew that at 10 weeks they were essentially fully formed just in miniature, but I was still surprised.
We had our first ultrasound this week. It was pretty exciting seeing our offspring inside my body. Surreal really. When the ultrasound tech put the probe to my belly the first image was a tiny hand pressed right up against the screen. I was startled and excited all at the same time. I don't know why I didn't expect that the baby would look like a baby. I knew that at 10 weeks they were essentially fully formed just in miniature, but I was still surprised.
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